Riding a motorcycle through a wormhole in inner-space.

Top 15 KMFDM Tracks.

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It’s KMFDM’s 30th Anniversary next year. I’ve been listening to them for the last 18, and just now decided to share my favourite songs.
This was a very difficult decision, as their catalog is huge (with 18 albums, and whatever number of singles, and EPs). Many KMFDM fans may agree with some, or wonder why I left out some obvious gems (SPOILER: “Light” and “Megalomaniac” are NOT on this list). Some of the images in my head, as I describe below, might be NSFW. I pray your computer monitor faces the window, at least 2 stories above ground.

15. Help Us/Save Us/Take Us Away (MONEY, 1992)
The ‘ultra-heavy beat” carries the soulful vocals from a mere teenager (14 I think?), Dorona Alberti. Sascha K.’s vocals mixed with effects (any combination of distortion, fuzz, and/or cigarettes), are a great contrast to Alberti’s voice. The first distorted guitar you hear in the track is among my favourite riffs of all time.

14. Penetration (Opium 1984, re-released in 2002)
Raymond Watts’ voice arises from a murky pink swamp of twangy guitar, and (almost) lounge-y beat. I’m pretty sure Watts was super-stoned during his vocal takes, but his laughter is so devious in the middle of him saying how he wants to bang you, that it’s almost sick. I just picture Watts with a top hat/cane, walking sideways down stairs, with vaginal lubrication running under his feet, and down the walls. Don’t slip, Raymond. You still have to make it to the other track further down this list.

13. People Of The Lie (BLITZ, 2009)
Probably the most venturous, haunting, interesting, NEW track I’ve heard KMFDM do in the last 10 years. Lucia’s vocals go down smooth like vodka/cranberry, under the moonlight in a prison cell. I picture Sascha and Lucia tied to chairs back to back, when they sing together on this song.

12. Move On (ANGST, 1993)
Ahh, the early 90’s. When hair-metal bands were finally letting their hair down. This track oozes spotlights on the guitar and piano. Put that fog filter on them, and crank that reverb knob. The guitar solo is soooo mysterious guy (or lady?) on a motorcycle.

11. Money (MONEY, 1992)
I sing this song every payday at my day job. “I was payday today/and I’m gonna spend money/on a bottle of booze/to bring home for my honey.” Sascha does a semi-rap style, vocally. Pretty much the imagery in my head for this track exists in the music video for it. The only thing missing in this song is SFX of cash registers.

10. Dogma (XTORT, 1996)
Nicole Blackman offers her performance-art, vocal style to this track. I usually associate performance art with female hairy armpits, bare feet, and a strange mole where you WOULD like to kiss. However if I saw this LIVE with F.M. Einheit tapping the rocks, and slapping those straps you hear in this track, with Blackman on a podium, I would be very happy. Aside from all that, Ms. Blackman speaks the truth. Every word of it!

9. Power (XTORT, 1996)
Nothing like a song you wish you could parade through town, with a choir singing “We’ve got the power…” This song is a strong, fist-in-the-air anthem, which could only be slightly bettered by…

8. Terror (NIHIL, 1995)
A real track that sounds like the precursor to a riot. But you know, I peaceful one where cops stand off to the side with their shields, while the leader stands on his soap box with a megaphone rallying his fellow man. And through the glimmer of his aviators we all see hope. I can’t help but get goosebumps when I hear “I get closer beat by beat…” when its repeated near the end of the song.

7. Naive (NAIVE, 1990)
Finally a somewhat positive song, telling guys (and girls! sure, that the heck!) that, yes, “she has to be loved”, “everybody needs somebody”. A lot of KMFDM tracks are aggressive/powerful “fuck you, we won’t take anymore you stinky government” tracks. This track seems to promote love, even if its just telling people to fuck. At least fucking is better than killing, amiright?

6. Son Of A Gun (XTORT, 1996)
Some of my favourite guitar riffs put together with synth! Fast, furious. Involving shockwaves, atomic blasts, and shit for brains. The colours blue, yellow, and white from the album cover are totally suited for this song. I wish I had synesthesia when listening to this. However, I’d end up an epileptic.

5. Piggybank {Shock Mix} (SPLIT single, 1991)
Ever listen to a remix that sounds better than the original? This is one of those tracks for me. Remixes of songs with rock guitars in them! Imagine! This makes me think of a gloomy church requiem (because of the organ) of someone writing a letter to his loved one promising of a better future for them.

4. Don’t Blow Your Top (DON’T BLOW YOUR TOP, 1987)
If you love Frank Zappa (I don’t), then you’ll recognize that a lot of the lyrics in this song are ripped right from the moustached man. Aside from the unoriginal lyrics, its catchy. Makes me wanna go back to the 80’s, cruise in the car, and look moody.

3. Juke-Joint Jezebel (NIHIL, 1995)
Raymond Watts’ near-top spot on this list. This is the song that got me into KMFDM. Catchy as fuck, and its Giorgio Moroder remix was on the Mortal Kombat Soundtrack (which alone was the genesis of my love for industrial). It’s the track that Sonya kicked Kano’s ass to, in the MK movie. SPOILER ALERT: It doesn’t end well for Kano.

2. Down And Out (SYMBOLS, 1997)
Drum pads, crickets, synths, marching, bag pipes, guitar, trumpets, and one (maybe two) bomb blasts. This is song is probably in league with “People Of The Lie”. I would love to hear an acoustic rendition of this song. Such a great groove, and the chorus melody is fantastic. And those sexy trumpets!

1. The Problem (ANGST, 1993)
Dorona Alberti sings this song with her soulful 15 year-old vocal pipes, shaming any contestant on American Idol before there was one. Acoustic guitar, piano, and a dash of synth. Alberti sings about how this kid is in trouble in court about what he’s done, but the problem isn’t with the boy, it’s with the environment they were molded by. It’s a case of nature vs. nurture. It’s one of those walk-away-in-slow-motion tracks before the credits roll. Probably the most soulful track KMFDM has ever done. And its all about that with me.

If you’re a KMFDM fan, I’d love to hear your fav tracks. If you’ve never heard them before, these tracks may sway you into fandom.

Boom.

-G

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