Riding a motorcycle through a wormhole in inner-space.

Author Archive

Radstar Hero

New track. Go here to check it out.

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Press Start

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It’s with great pride that I present my live band. We’re busy practicing songs from WAIFU, Robots!, and a few covers. You can listen to everything I’ve done on soundcloud, and buy WAIFU here (which I’ve also given the artwork it deserves).

I toured, and (mostly) everything that goes with it, rocked the stage and met some of my heroes along the way. During the last couple of years of my last band and the year after, I stared into the abyss and unknowingly brought back a dragon I had to fight for it had got so large (ever watch “The Babadook”? Kinda like that, but my own version). Some serious introspection (reading) gave me the sword and shield to deal with it.

Now, I seek one more live adventure with a little help from my band of merry friends (which is why I can’t just call us “RADUTRON”) and I got to say, I’m grateful, and we’re sounding great and having fun.

If this candle burns quickly, it shall burn brightly…

Stayed tuned for a show announcement.


New WAIFU artwork

There’s things brewing here in regards to RADUTRON performing live.

We just completed a photoshoot for the live band, as well as practicing the live set with some choice cover songs for a couple of months now. After thinking about the presentation of the band, I’ve decided to update the artwork for WAIFU, because honestly, it deserves better. So here it is…

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If you wish to update your offline version of WAIFU, I encourage you to grab this image.

You can listen to WAIFU on bandcamp, and soundcloud.

I’ll be posting our band photos in the next week or two, and a show announcement sometime after that.

-G


Jordan Peterson on May 3, 2018 (Letter To A Friend)

One of my best friends bought me a ticket to see Jordan Peterson at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Toronto. Here’s the email I sent him: *Edit: The name tag says “Bucko”*

‘Yo!

So here’s my thoughts on the show. Unfortunately my audio recorder stopped recording after I put it back in my pocket. Rookie mistake…

Honestly though, there weren’t any new revelations, just paraphrasing some of the chapters at his own pace and off the top of his head (not scripted!). But I would commend him on being more clear and direct with his message.

In reference to chapter 6, Peterson touched on the van massacre and said that the driver aimed low, and he apparently arrived in court looking like he was going to accept a medal.

The biggest themes he touched on were standing up straight, telling the truth, and listening to people like they know something you don’t. As his tour goes on I’m sure things will shift at their own volition.

One of the biggest take-always I gotta say is that I talked with some of the people I was in line with (one gave me and many others the same name-tag), and an older married couple sitting beside me. Both times I was asked how I found out about him (the whole pronoun thing, more specifically the 24Hrs newspaper letter he wrote defending himself which hooked me in). There was a sense of “individual comradery” which I mean that we are not followers of Peterson because he doesn’t take the responsibility for us and therefore is our leader. That’s what tyrants do. He reminds us that we can take responsibility for ourselves and we attend his lectures in context to our own individual lives.

This is well written enough I think I’ll include it on my blog.

This was awesome dude, I wish you were here, thank you very much. I really feel like I see someone who will be remembered like Jung, and his fellow peers.

The VIP package that I got included a picture and got a question in…

Peterson: *shakes hand* “You’re very brave to wear that name-tag.”
Me: “Yeah well…” *shrug*
*photo taken*
Me: “Your symbol in between the chapters and all over our website and stuff… did you make that?”
Peterson: “Yes I did. 30 years ago. It’s this big and about that thick…” *gestures about 3 feet wide and about a foot thick* “It’s a symbol for music.”
I shake his hand and say: “Keep up the good work, doctor.” ‘
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Mercy, me!


End Of An Era

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JCM 2000 DSL 50. Bought in 2001. Used to be my brother’s.

Ever have a tool or thing that you’ve used for a long time? Something that you’ve taken with you as you’ve traveled across a country or two? Well, its time that I move on from my glorious half-stack that has been with me for the better part of thirteen years, and most active for the first ten.

Back in 2005, I begged my dad for an Orange 4×12 guitar cabinet to compliment my brother’s Marshall JCM 2000 DSL 50 head which I had commandeered since I was active in a band. Much to the chagrin of my bandmates, they would have to help me carry the cabinet in numerous venues across Canada, until enough was enough and I had to get casters installed.

Aside from its beautiful black/gold/orange totem I had developed a setting that I still hold true to this day in my digital solid state devices (or at least as close as I can get it).

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The head symbol is of the band I was in for 10 years, and the omega/headphone-face is my own thing. Both have scars from being on the road. Well worn I think.

In 2012 I dubbed my Marshall/Orange rig as Angie, after having the artwork for “Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying…” done, it was only apparent that I needed to realize the robot character as something tangible in reality to give my serious musician hobby some meaning.

Ol’ Angie was collecting dust for the last three years, so I needed to get rid of her. I contemplated selling off the speakers and turning the Orange cab into a half-shelf/half-cat bed (“No…ol’ yeller is my dog…”) but I decided to trade it off to a good buddy of mine where she’ll be loud and proud. Selling her off to some stranger just doesn’t feel right otherwise…

I have to thank my dad for buying those to two pieces of equipment, and I really hope he realizes that I’ve maximized the usage of that rig for the ten years that I’ve had them together, being on stage with them probably about two-hundred times. It’s been on stage with Left Spine Down, Dope Stars Inc., Bile, and its last tour with Cyanotic. Well used in the bands Far From Ruin, and The Rabid Whole. Getting it’s warmed up debut in my hometown of Regina, SK, before travelling as far as Montreal, Vancouver, Austin, Los Angeles, and New Orleans. I might as well be talking about myself.

I’m looking forward to playing on new gear that I can (one-man) carry around with me, but… *cue song Nothing Compares To You*

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End of an era, and start of a new one.


Nendoroid Mercy (Or Why I Want These “Toys”)

I’m a guy in his early 30’s who has collected his fair share of figures. I mean, just look at this…

This is is nothing compared to some people…

It had come to my attention that a certain toy company was making a line of Overwatch characters and one of them, Mercy, is among the line-up.

I am not a psychologist, but from what I’ve read (Carl Jung’s “Man And His Symbols”, and “Jung on the Active Imagination”) did I start realizing why I collect these things many people would regard as a waste of money.

The male characters have something I see in myself and utilize them in their own success. For example: Raphael is volatile, and Batman is grumpy and/or stoic. Star-Lord’s active ego/confidence is one that mine can aspire to.

Then there’s the females. These are anima who have characteristics I do not. Lara Croft is adventurous and conquers fear (especially of heights), and Mercy has a benevolence that’s literally painted angelic.

I could go on with all the figures I own, but you get the point.

I believe we collect these things because we’re scribes of these ideals that these characters represent. You can look at a person’s bookshelf or movie collection and get an idea of who they are.

The funny thing is I’ve almost stopped collecting these because I feel like I’ve “made my point” to myself. At first I thought it was because it didn’t make me happy anymore, but it never really did. Perhaps I was on a search of who I am. It’s easier to buy something that’s already made into something you like than it is to create something that represents you.

Now I’m using my strength to create things, and music will do for now, but I’m looking forward to other things that are already taking shape in my mind and on paper…

…but first I need-nay-WANT that Mercy figure.

-G


2017 RADROSPECT

It’s like “retrospect” but RAD!

Here’s a list of things that I’m grateful for that happened in 2017 (in no order):

  • The release of WAIFU, and tracks “Robots!”, and “85,15”.
  • Paid off my student loans after 9 years!
  • Made new friends in Toronto.
  • I was a groomsman at my buddy’s wedding.
  • Celebrated 25 years of friendship with my best friend.
  • I saw Bat Out Of Hell: The Musical with my best friend, and my lady.
  • Celebrated my 10th anniversary with my lady.

 

It was a damn good year for me, personally. 2018 will have less debt, and more love and creativity coming out of me. I’m also looking forward to getting RADUTRON on stage this year! Woo!


Ecce Tattoo

I had a dream last night that Jordan Peterson was having a contest that he would tattoo people who won. I won a spot and Peterson was to tattoo “Ecce Homo” (his choosing) on me but I declined because the design was so terrible.


New Track – Something for the…uh… imagination?

I cannot confirm nor deny the potentially revealing theme of this track. Ah hell, who am I kidding!?


Thought: Blade Runner 2049

Back in the early 2000’s I bought Blade Runner (The Director’s Cut) on DVD for $35, 6 months before my family owned a DVD-player. I would look at the case and read the chapter list, and stare at the artwork in anticipation. When I could finally watch it, I did in awe. I couldn’t fully understand the philosophical questions, but I knew it was something special, and I wished I could see it in theatres.

I just came out of “2049” and my wish came true. Beautiful movie, great music, and a worthy sequel that steps up the idea the first explores.


Thought: Vault-Boy and Real Life

I’m a big fan of the Fallout video-game franchise. I got a section of a shelf at home dedicated to bobble-heads, Pop Figures, collector editions, plushes and what not.

The main image of Fallout is the character Vault-Boy. The mascot of an insane corporation called Vault-Tec. His ominous smile plastered all over the post-nuclear wasteland of Fallout’s fictional universe.

Today I get an email from the Bethesda Store trying to sell me a t-shirt that says “War Never Changes” and with a graphic of an average man-looking Vault Boy seeing a nuclear bomb going off.

With potential war looming against North Korea and the U.S., I find this very fucking ironic.‬ I can’t buy this shit anymore.


Miitopia: One of my favourite RPGs EVER!

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I can’t get enough of Miitopia. It’s addicting as hell, adorable, and more in depth than it lets on. It’s probably the most fun RPG I have ever played, and I’ve played a good chunk of them.

A “Mii” is a Nintendo avatar originally made on the Wii, and 3DS systems as a fun mini-game character that you’d fashion as yourself or anyone else. Miitopia takes your Mii characters and casts them as characters of your choosing. The main character, their party members (6 so far that I’ve customized), The Dark Lord, mysterious wizard, a genie, and MORE all get the chance to be modeled to be played by whoever you want them to look like.

I also must mention the townsfolk in this game. It’s been surprise meets hilarity when I see some of these characters and wonder who in the development team chose them. The townsfolk, and other fifth business’ faces look and are blatantly named after such people as Bob Ross, Lamb Chop (from Lamb Chop’s Play-Along, a deep cut in my childhood tv-watching), Bob (the Minion), Batman, Kratos (God Of War), familiar Nintendo characters, and many others! I’m not sure if it’s random or what, but it’s been a delight to see who shows up next.

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One of my waifus, Lara (warrior class) on a break.

I cast my Mii as a “Pop Star”, which in traditional pen/paper RPGs is the “Bard” class. My lady, cast as a “Chef”. And my waifus Jack, Lara, Mercy, Piper, and Chun, cast as “Thief”, “Warrior”, “Sorcerer”, “Cat”, and “Imp” respectively. Each job class has a myriad of abilities appropriate to their name-sake, with a total of 12 jobs (and several personality types to choose) available as the story progresses.

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The world map is classic Super Mario Bros. 3/Mario World style, and you select a level that brings you to stretch of land your characters traverse on their own and certain fun and cute events happen, a treasure chest appears, or (of course) battles. Battles are sort of brain-dead in the sense that you’re merely just watching the battle happen of its own volition, with no intervention EXCEPT when its your main character’s turn. You can choose to attack or cast a spell/ability (depending on your chosen class). The rest of your party acts automatically. Thankfully your teammates aren’t stupid and know when to heal themselves and/or each other when its appropriate.

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The Inn is a mini-game of itself that brings your party’s struggle to life.

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Piper and Mercy bond by gossiping about my main character.

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My main character, and my Mii modeled after my lady make-up after a personal conflict.

Relationships are developed mildly during battle, but are really grown in The Inn after each stage. This is done by placing party members in rooms together, and these are often met with cute cut-scenes of them chatting or doing other things like cleaning, or exchanging gifts. The Inn also allows you to feed your party members with food you’ve collected from battles to boost stats, and each character will learn what their favourite or hated foods are. You can also purchase new weapons and armor if you see that a party member requests it. There’s also two mini-games that are played using game-tickets (found in treasure chests): Rock/Paper/Scissors, and a spin-the-wheel type. The former is a chance to win more gold, while the latter is a random chance at more XP, armor/weapon, MP candy, or tickets to take two party members to a carnival-type cruise that develops their relationship immensely.

Relationships grow on a level system as well. Each level unlocks an ability used during battle such as teaming up for an attack, damage boosting, and helping your character dodge.

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The only problem I’ve had with this game was the obsessive need to go back to each stage to get through each path I didn’t choose initially to complete and get every treasure box.

I have to say that this has been so much fun to play, and will remain in my small 3DS library forever (7 games right now). I highly recommend this to anyone who appreciates a fun Nintendo game, and can deviate from the serious lore-heavy RPG.

Score? Uhh…9/10? Yeah lets do it…

-G

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P.S. Want to add ol’ Radutron to your party? (WARNING: He’s uses swear words after defeating enemies. I made that happen by editing my characters settings. The developers did not code that in!) Here’s my QR code:

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Thought: Empathy

In Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.2, Mantis is a character whose superpower is empathy. We all have that ability in real life.

My barber (whose Iraqi) told me a story of his father who he didn’t talk to for a quite a while suddenly wanted to skype with him. He just told his son that he wanted to see his face, after being asked why. The next day his father died.

I wept in my chair.

We’re all human beings. With social media lets talk WITH each other rather than AT each other. We’re not all so special as we think we are.


Thought: Big Video Game Retail

I’ve seen quite a few of former employee videos about their testament to working in big video game retail. All crappy experiences. I can only imagine what its like to play video games (watch movies, read books, etc.) for a significant amount of time, learn what its like to do the right thing through those mediums, and have to put up with things that irk  moral fiber at your job surrounded by your favourite stories that teach you otherwise.


Thought: Ads

I was on the subway looking up at the ads, and I thought that if or when civilization crumbles I hope that future archeologists don’t confuse these with hieroglyphics.


La Fin Du Monde

The best damn beer with the best damn name…  


Forever Jung

Ever since being done with The Rabid Whole, I’ve had a long way of figuring out who I am, and accepting certain aspects. Sometime last fall I learned of an Ontario-based professor named Jordan B Petersen. I’ve watched countless bite-sized videos of his lectures, and was glad to listen to his (currently) two appearances on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast.

In those podcast episodes Petersen said that he’s heavily influenced by the works of Dr. Carl G. Jung, and philosopher Frederick Nietzche. I decided I had to start reading their works, and I just recently finished reading Jung’s book “Man and His Symbols” (also written by Jung’s associates who dive deeper and expand on Jung’s theology of dreams which are the focus of the book).

“Man and His Symbols” is most definitely one of the most important books I have ever read in my life! I encourage you to read this book and come to your own conclusions (it’s only $11 CAD).

I’m dreadfully sorry if higher intellectuals find this too simplified, or if I misinterpreted anything. Please leave a comment if I’m wrong about any of the following. Here’s the big takeaways:

  1. Our messages from God come in the form of symbols created by our subconscious in the way of dreams.
  2. We are all God, and can be in touch with Him (ourselves, or as Jung calls it the Self) if we learn to listen to our dreams and what they are telling us. Each object, person, and setting are unique to the dreamer.
  3. The rational mind has killed any appreciation and spiritual connection to one’s Self. In a world of materialism, I can’t agree more. It’s literally soul sucking.
  4. Dark imagery in dreams are reflections of the “shadow self”, a version of the subconscious that is trying to tell us something. Something that we can use to better ourselves, if we can just stop running away from it. This is true even if it breeds real criminals!
  5. People who project things onto other people are just reflecting their own issues or beliefs. I never really understood this as much as I do now.

Thinking of symbols I’ve thought about religion, mainly Christianity since that’s a mainstay story in North American culture. I’ve learned years ago that the Bible is nothing but just metaphors, but I never thought about WHAT they were of.

The greatest story ever told is probably the greatest dream ever conceived (the archetype of the hero’s journey). In that case, Jesus’ death and resurrection is a story of letting go of a version of yourself and becoming something new. This is a story everyone can understand and actually live by instead of thinking that Jesus/God is someone or a status they can never be.

Also, hell is probably just a personal one. The TV show “Preacher” does an interesting take on this idea as all prisoners of hell have to relive their worst memories over and over again.

Jung has a quote that says “Unless you make the subconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This is to me is synonymous with “God has a plan”.

If people can unlock their true potential of being, I thought if good and evil really do exist or if its just a point of view. From what I gather I’ll get a better idea once I start reading Nietzche…

Even typing this now I think of some of the imagery I’ve seen while floating in a sensory deprivation tank, and the symbol I designed and got tattooed on my arm! Things I’ll need to ponder for sure. Hell, even that Guardians Of The Galaxy dream I had a couple of months ago. Are dreams our own verses and stories for our own personal bible? Man, oh man!

Anyways, I’m really interested in this kind of reverse engineering of myself, and after reading this book I feel like a real living being. My next sought after Jung book is “Jung and The Active Imagination” where Jung found himself depressed in a certain part of his life and looked to his childhood to find what it was that he was missing.

I really feel like I’m shedding a version of myself recently, and growing into something new. I realize my abilities for empathy and understanding, and it really rips the fear out of anything that I have. It’s also been fertilizer for ideas I have creatively that I just can’t wait to share with the world.

Dear reader, I urge you find the new religion. The religion of you.

-G


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Rockin’ to “Lara”

Wanna see me playing guitar? SURE YOU DO!

Rockin’ to my track “Lara” (inspired by Lara Croft from Tomb Raider), with my sweet Kassandra.

Listen to track on Soundcloud, and Bandcamp.


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Talking about “Mercy” from WAIFU

I talk about getting some hate online as a Mercy-player in Overwatch. And of course the rhyme and reason why Mercy is in WAIFU. This concludes the last of the WAIFU series edition of the Stuttering and Stammering podcast.

Listen to WAIFU on Soundcloud, and Bandcamp!


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Talking about “Piper” from WAIFU

You know, I wonder why I didn’t choose a lady from Fallout: New Vegas. Not that I regret focusing on Piper. Anyway, in this newest edition of Stuttering and Stammering I’m talking about the only good companion in all of Fallout 4, and what made me make the track I recorded sound the way it did.

Listen to WAIFU at: Soundcloud, and Bandcamp.


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Talking about “Chun” from WAIFU

I’m talking about “Chun” from WAIFU!

You can check out the track on Soundcloud and Bandcamp.

 


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Talking about “Lara” from WAIFU

Stuttering and Stammering has now become audio only. A podcast? Hmm.

Anyway, I’m talking about the track “Lara” off of WAIFU.

Check out the track on Soundcloud and Bandcamp.

 


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Talking about a WAIFU: Jack

My next Stuttering & Stammering video (podcast now?). I’m talking about my first track “Jack” from my record WAIFU. Why I chose to make the track, and why it sounds the way it does.