It’s been a hot minute since the last post! What’s happened?! A bunch of stuff and considering world events, good things for me personally, and I feel very blessed.
Long story short: I played my last show in Toronto back in late August 2019, moved to Calgary for a new start, learned some things about life and other people, found a wonderful woman, writing new music, and something something alchemy, archetypes, the Self, and (*new*) Christianity!
Here’s two elements I’ve managed to summon in musical form so far:
One of my best friends bought me a ticket to see Jordan Peterson at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Toronto. Here’s the email I sent him: *Edit: The name tag says “Bucko”*
So here’s my thoughts on the show. Unfortunately my audio recorder stopped recording after I put it back in my pocket. Rookie mistake…
Honestly though, there weren’t any new revelations, just paraphrasing some of the chapters at his own pace and off the top of his head (not scripted!). But I would commend him on being more clear and direct with his message.
In reference to chapter 6, Peterson touched on the van massacre and said that the driver aimed low, and he apparently arrived in court looking like he was going to accept a medal.
The biggest themes he touched on were standing up straight, telling the truth, and listening to people like they know something you don’t. As his tour goes on I’m sure things will shift at their own volition.
One of the biggest take-always I gotta say is that I talked with some of the people I was in line with (one gave me and many others the same name-tag), and an older married couple sitting beside me. Both times I was asked how I found out about him (the whole pronoun thing, more specifically the 24Hrs newspaper letter he wrote defending himself which hooked me in). There was a sense of “individual comradery” which I mean that we are not followers of Peterson because he doesn’t take the responsibility for us and therefore is our leader. That’s what tyrants do. He reminds us that we can take responsibility for ourselves and we attend his lectures in context to our own individual lives.
This is well written enough I think I’ll include it on my blog.
This was awesome dude, I wish you were here, thank you very much. I really feel like I see someone who will be remembered like Jung, and his fellow peers.
The VIP package that I got included a picture and got a question in…
It’s like “retrospect” but RAD!
Here’s a list of things that I’m grateful for that happened in 2017 (in no order):
- The release of WAIFU, and tracks “Robots!”, and “85,15”.
- Paid off my student loans after 9 years!
- Made new friends in Toronto.
- I was a groomsman at my buddy’s wedding.
- Celebrated 25 years of friendship with my best friend.
- I saw Bat Out Of Hell: The Musical with my best friend, and my lady.
- Celebrated my 10th anniversary with my lady.
It was a damn good year for me, personally. 2018 will have less debt, and more love and creativity coming out of me. I’m also looking forward to getting RADUTRON on stage this year! Woo!
I had a dream last night that Jordan Peterson was having a contest that he would tattoo people who won. I won a spot and Peterson was to tattoo “Ecce Homo” (his choosing) on me but I declined because the design was so terrible.
I cannot confirm nor deny the potentially revealing theme of this track. Ah hell, who am I kidding!?
I’m a big fan of the Fallout video-game franchise. I got a section of a shelf at home dedicated to bobble-heads, Pop Figures, collector editions, plushes and what not.
The main image of Fallout is the character Vault-Boy. The mascot of an insane corporation called Vault-Tec. His ominous smile plastered all over the post-nuclear wasteland of Fallout’s fictional universe.
Today I get an email from the Bethesda Store trying to sell me a t-shirt that says “War Never Changes” and with a graphic of an average man-looking Vault Boy seeing a nuclear bomb going off.
With potential war looming against North Korea and the U.S., I find this very fucking ironic. I can’t buy this shit anymore.
I’ve seen quite a few of former employee videos about their testament to working in big video game retail. All crappy experiences. I can only imagine what its like to play video games (watch movies, read books, etc.) for a significant amount of time, learn what its like to do the right thing through those mediums, and have to put up with things that irk moral fiber at your job surrounded by your favourite stories that teach you otherwise.
I was on the subway looking up at the ads, and I thought that if or when civilization crumbles I hope that future archeologists don’t confuse these with hieroglyphics.
Ever since being done with The Rabid Whole, I’ve had a long way of figuring out who I am, and accepting certain aspects. Sometime last fall I learned of an Ontario-based professor named Jordan B Petersen. I’ve watched countless bite-sized videos of his lectures, and was glad to listen to his (currently) two appearances on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast.
In those podcast episodes Petersen said that he’s heavily influenced by the works of Dr. Carl G. Jung, and philosopher Frederick Nietzche. I decided I had to start reading their works, and I just recently finished reading Jung’s book “Man and His Symbols” (also written by Jung’s associates who dive deeper and expand on Jung’s theology of dreams which are the focus of the book).
“Man and His Symbols” is most definitely one of the most important books I have ever read in my life! I encourage you to read this book and come to your own conclusions (it’s only $11 CAD).
I’m dreadfully sorry if higher intellectuals find this too simplified, or if I misinterpreted anything. Please leave a comment if I’m wrong about any of the following. Here’s the big takeaways:
- Our messages from God come in the form of symbols created by our subconscious in the way of dreams.
- We are all God, and can be in touch with Him (ourselves, or as Jung calls it the Self) if we learn to listen to our dreams and what they are telling us. Each object, person, and setting are unique to the dreamer.
- The rational mind has killed any appreciation and spiritual connection to one’s Self. In a world of materialism, I can’t agree more. It’s literally soul sucking.
- Dark imagery in dreams are reflections of the “shadow self”, a version of the subconscious that is trying to tell us something. Something that we can use to better ourselves, if we can just stop running away from it. This is true even if it breeds real criminals!
- People who project things onto other people are just reflecting their own issues or beliefs. I never really understood this as much as I do now.
Thinking of symbols I’ve thought about religion, mainly Christianity since that’s a mainstay story in North American culture. I’ve learned years ago that the Bible is nothing but just metaphors, but I never thought about WHAT they were of.
The greatest story ever told is probably the greatest dream ever conceived (the archetype of the hero’s journey). In that case, Jesus’ death and resurrection is a story of letting go of a version of yourself and becoming something new. This is a story everyone can understand and actually live by instead of thinking that Jesus/God is someone or a status they can never be.
Also, hell is probably just a personal one. The TV show “Preacher” does an interesting take on this idea as all prisoners of hell have to relive their worst memories over and over again.
Jung has a quote that says “Unless you make the subconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This is to me is synonymous with “God has a plan”.
If people can unlock their true potential of being, I thought if good and evil really do exist or if its just a point of view. From what I gather I’ll get a better idea once I start reading Nietzche…
Even typing this now I think of some of the imagery I’ve seen while floating in a sensory deprivation tank, and the symbol I designed and got tattooed on my arm! Things I’ll need to ponder for sure. Hell, even that Guardians Of The Galaxy dream I had a couple of months ago. Are dreams our own verses and stories for our own personal bible? Man, oh man!
Anyways, I’m really interested in this kind of reverse engineering of myself, and after reading this book I feel like a real living being. My next sought after Jung book is “Jung and The Active Imagination” where Jung found himself depressed in a certain part of his life and looked to his childhood to find what it was that he was missing.
I really feel like I’m shedding a version of myself recently, and growing into something new. I realize my abilities for empathy and understanding, and it really rips the fear out of anything that I have. It’s also been fertilizer for ideas I have creatively that I just can’t wait to share with the world.
Dear reader, I urge you find the new religion. The religion of you.
I was going through my notes on my iPhone and found the only journal entry I made at the start of our 5-week tour through Canada/U.S.. I thought it interesting. Enjoy.
“April 12, 2013
“If you want an illustrious career in rock n’ roll, I suggest you think about it…” Greg Dean (on the KMFDM Beat By Beat Tour 1995).
I just want to say about that quote above: Our trip is most likely not as crazy as some bands’, but touring in a band is not like a road trip with your friends or family, and it’s not really like camping except for some things you bring with you. We don’t have a crew, and playing is merely 10% of our job. The rest is lugging/hooking up our gear, driving long hours (and battling the elements), being paranoid about security, taking extra care in maintaining our health, and eating not as wholesome as we’d like.
Day 1 of the Short Circuit Tour (excluding the Toronto show, cause we didn’t actually leave until the following Thursday)..
Drive was alright. Chals got one of those fancy “GoPro” cameras to document our journey. I swear they use those in the Canada’s Worst Driver tv-show.
Anyways, the 8-hr drive seemed short. The quaint size of Sault Ste. Marie reminded me of certain areas of Regina, and Moose Jaw, SK. It’s bigger than I thought, since the last time we travelled through (at night) back in late-fall 2009.
We get to the venue ’round 5:45pm and eventually meet the promoter. Nice guy. Fed us, bought us drinks. As the night rolls along after soundcheck and we’re playing the “hurry up and wait” game, I’m starting to get super tired. I’ve been up since 4:30am and by 11pm I was ready to crash. I was given an energy drink and after finally playing I gained a second wind.
A nice couple invited us to their house to sleep and shower. I had especially taken advantage of the shower.
Unfortunately the crazy snow storm from southern Ontario had caught up with us, and the next morning had us a little weary. On our way out of the city, a snowy steep hill stopping us from progressing as we halted half way up, and causing us to “jack-knife” the trailer trying to back up DOWN the hill. Chals warned on-coming traffic, as us dudes pushed the fully packed heavy trailer SIDEWAYS to get straight, disconnect from the van, then swing around to aim down the hill, then painstakingly re-attach to the van without getting run over by our own trailer.
After finding an alternate route, we hit up Timmy’s and fill up on gas. Then it’s continuing on the seemingly perilous mid-April winter journey to Thunder Bay.
I hope there’s enough lightning in Thunder Bay to zap this snow into hell.”
My “Stuttering and Stammering” videos continue with me talking about my first few years in The Rabid Whole and its key moments of our progress as a band. The first of 3 videos. Enjoy some NES goodness from Power Blade, and there’s our first track we ever wrote called “Selfish Nature” at the end of the video.
A couple of years ago when it was announced The Mars One Project
was taking applications to go to Mars in 2023(?), I was considering getting into shape and applying.
I mentioned this to a close friend, my lady, and my mom, and all them responded with varying degrees of puzzlement. Reactions ranging from “Huh?” to “Do you want to leave me behind?”.
My thoughts were I could have a chance to be apart of something epic even if something could go wrong. I was born too late to explore the Earth, and too early to explore the Galaxy.
Anyways, I’m not going now.
Recently I’ve been watching Discovery News’ YouTube channel, and they did a piece on the whole traveling to Mars thing: “Basically you’re going there to die” (Something along those lines).
My lady hears this, leans into the living room and says, “And you wanted to go to Mars…”
A had a big grin on my face. Not because I was a fool to think it could happen, but because I’m one of the few people on this planet who had “And you wanted to go to Mars…” said to them.
*laugh track *
Some might call this a humble-brag, but whatever…
I posted the song “Jack” and tagged her character’s voice actor on Twitter. I did this because I appreciate her work and wanted to show her that. Social media is great for getting in contact with these performers no matter how casual it may be.
Anyways, she responded and it’s bloody f’n cool, man!
I don’t know if she actually likes the track, but at least she appreciates it.
I’ll be doing the same with the other tracks once they’re finished, posting the complete album on bandcamp/soundcloud/YouTube.
I don’t expect acknowledgement but it sure is a hoot and a holler when it happens.
I didn’t want to buy a tree, but a friend of mine showed me that people have been making trees out of books.
I did my own take on that: comic books, DVDs, video games, with mostly Funko Pop figures as decorations.