Riding a motorcycle through a wormhole in inner-space.

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New Music for 2021

It’s been a hot minute since the last post! What’s happened?! A bunch of stuff and considering world events, good things for me personally, and I feel very blessed.

Long story short: I played my last show in Toronto back in late August 2019, moved to Calgary for a new start, learned some things about life and other people, found a wonderful woman, writing new music, and something something alchemy, archetypes, the Self, and (*new*) Christianity!

Here’s two elements I’ve managed to summon in musical form so far:


Radstar Hero

New track. Go here to check it out.

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Press Start

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It’s with great pride that I present my live band. We’re busy practicing songs from WAIFU, Robots!, and a few covers. You can listen to everything I’ve done on soundcloud, and buy WAIFU here (which I’ve also given the artwork it deserves).

I toured, and (mostly) everything that goes with it, rocked the stage and met some of my heroes along the way. During the last couple of years of my last band and the year after, I stared into the abyss and unknowingly brought back a dragon I had to fight for it had got so large (ever watch “The Babadook”? Kinda like that, but my own version). Some serious introspection (reading) gave me the sword and shield to deal with it.

Now, I seek one more live adventure with a little help from my band of merry friends (which is why I can’t just call us “RADUTRON”) and I got to say, I’m grateful, and we’re sounding great and having fun.

If this candle burns quickly, it shall burn brightly…

Stayed tuned for a show announcement.


New WAIFU artwork

There’s things brewing here in regards to RADUTRON performing live.

We just completed a photoshoot for the live band, as well as practicing the live set with some choice cover songs for a couple of months now. After thinking about the presentation of the band, I’ve decided to update the artwork for WAIFU, because honestly, it deserves better. So here it is…

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If you wish to update your offline version of WAIFU, I encourage you to grab this image.

You can listen to WAIFU on bandcamp, and soundcloud.

I’ll be posting our band photos in the next week or two, and a show announcement sometime after that.

-G


Jordan Peterson on May 3, 2018 (Letter To A Friend)

One of my best friends bought me a ticket to see Jordan Peterson at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Toronto. Here’s the email I sent him: *Edit: The name tag says “Bucko”*

‘Yo!

So here’s my thoughts on the show. Unfortunately my audio recorder stopped recording after I put it back in my pocket. Rookie mistake…

Honestly though, there weren’t any new revelations, just paraphrasing some of the chapters at his own pace and off the top of his head (not scripted!). But I would commend him on being more clear and direct with his message.

In reference to chapter 6, Peterson touched on the van massacre and said that the driver aimed low, and he apparently arrived in court looking like he was going to accept a medal.

The biggest themes he touched on were standing up straight, telling the truth, and listening to people like they know something you don’t. As his tour goes on I’m sure things will shift at their own volition.

One of the biggest take-always I gotta say is that I talked with some of the people I was in line with (one gave me and many others the same name-tag), and an older married couple sitting beside me. Both times I was asked how I found out about him (the whole pronoun thing, more specifically the 24Hrs newspaper letter he wrote defending himself which hooked me in). There was a sense of “individual comradery” which I mean that we are not followers of Peterson because he doesn’t take the responsibility for us and therefore is our leader. That’s what tyrants do. He reminds us that we can take responsibility for ourselves and we attend his lectures in context to our own individual lives.

This is well written enough I think I’ll include it on my blog.

This was awesome dude, I wish you were here, thank you very much. I really feel like I see someone who will be remembered like Jung, and his fellow peers.

The VIP package that I got included a picture and got a question in…

Peterson: *shakes hand* “You’re very brave to wear that name-tag.”
Me: “Yeah well…” *shrug*
*photo taken*
Me: “Your symbol in between the chapters and all over our website and stuff… did you make that?”
Peterson: “Yes I did. 30 years ago. It’s this big and about that thick…” *gestures about 3 feet wide and about a foot thick* “It’s a symbol for music.”
I shake his hand and say: “Keep up the good work, doctor.” ‘
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Mercy, me!


End Of An Era

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JCM 2000 DSL 50. Bought in 2001. Used to be my brother’s.

Ever have a tool or thing that you’ve used for a long time? Something that you’ve taken with you as you’ve traveled across a country or two? Well, its time that I move on from my glorious half-stack that has been with me for the better part of thirteen years, and most active for the first ten.

Back in 2005, I begged my dad for an Orange 4×12 guitar cabinet to compliment my brother’s Marshall JCM 2000 DSL 50 head which I had commandeered since I was active in a band. Much to the chagrin of my bandmates, they would have to help me carry the cabinet in numerous venues across Canada, until enough was enough and I had to get casters installed.

Aside from its beautiful black/gold/orange totem I had developed a setting that I still hold true to this day in my digital solid state devices (or at least as close as I can get it).

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The head symbol is of the band I was in for 10 years, and the omega/headphone-face is my own thing. Both have scars from being on the road. Well worn I think.

In 2012 I dubbed my Marshall/Orange rig as Angie, after having the artwork for “Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying…” done, it was only apparent that I needed to realize the robot character as something tangible in reality to give my serious musician hobby some meaning.

Ol’ Angie was collecting dust for the last three years, so I needed to get rid of her. I contemplated selling off the speakers and turning the Orange cab into a half-shelf/half-cat bed (“No…ol’ yeller is my dog…”) but I decided to trade it off to a good buddy of mine where she’ll be loud and proud. Selling her off to some stranger just doesn’t feel right otherwise…

I have to thank my dad for buying those to two pieces of equipment, and I really hope he realizes that I’ve maximized the usage of that rig for the ten years that I’ve had them together, being on stage with them probably about two-hundred times. It’s been on stage with Left Spine Down, Dope Stars Inc., Bile, and its last tour with Cyanotic. Well used in the bands Far From Ruin, and The Rabid Whole. Getting it’s warmed up debut in my hometown of Regina, SK, before travelling as far as Montreal, Vancouver, Austin, Los Angeles, and New Orleans. I might as well be talking about myself.

I’m looking forward to playing on new gear that I can (one-man) carry around with me, but… *cue song Nothing Compares To You*

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End of an era, and start of a new one.


Nendoroid Mercy (Or Why I Want These “Toys”)

I’m a guy in his early 30’s who has collected his fair share of figures. I mean, just look at this…

This is is nothing compared to some people…

It had come to my attention that a certain toy company was making a line of Overwatch characters and one of them, Mercy, is among the line-up.

I am not a psychologist, but from what I’ve read (Carl Jung’s “Man And His Symbols”, and “Jung on the Active Imagination”) did I start realizing why I collect these things many people would regard as a waste of money.

The male characters have something I see in myself and utilize them in their own success. For example: Raphael is volatile, and Batman is grumpy and/or stoic. Star-Lord’s active ego/confidence is one that mine can aspire to.

Then there’s the females. These are anima who have characteristics I do not. Lara Croft is adventurous and conquers fear (especially of heights), and Mercy has a benevolence that’s literally painted angelic.

I could go on with all the figures I own, but you get the point.

I believe we collect these things because we’re scribes of these ideals that these characters represent. You can look at a person’s bookshelf or movie collection and get an idea of who they are.

The funny thing is I’ve almost stopped collecting these because I feel like I’ve “made my point” to myself. At first I thought it was because it didn’t make me happy anymore, but it never really did. Perhaps I was on a search of who I am. It’s easier to buy something that’s already made into something you like than it is to create something that represents you.

Now I’m using my strength to create things, and music will do for now, but I’m looking forward to other things that are already taking shape in my mind and on paper…

…but first I need-nay-WANT that Mercy figure.

-G


2017 RADROSPECT

It’s like “retrospect” but RAD!

Here’s a list of things that I’m grateful for that happened in 2017 (in no order):

  • The release of WAIFU, and tracks “Robots!”, and “85,15”.
  • Paid off my student loans after 9 years!
  • Made new friends in Toronto.
  • I was a groomsman at my buddy’s wedding.
  • Celebrated 25 years of friendship with my best friend.
  • I saw Bat Out Of Hell: The Musical with my best friend, and my lady.
  • Celebrated my 10th anniversary with my lady.

 

It was a damn good year for me, personally. 2018 will have less debt, and more love and creativity coming out of me. I’m also looking forward to getting RADUTRON on stage this year! Woo!


Ecce Tattoo

I had a dream last night that Jordan Peterson was having a contest that he would tattoo people who won. I won a spot and Peterson was to tattoo “Ecce Homo” (his choosing) on me but I declined because the design was so terrible.


New Track – Something for the…uh… imagination?

I cannot confirm nor deny the potentially revealing theme of this track. Ah hell, who am I kidding!?


Thought: Blade Runner 2049

Back in the early 2000’s I bought Blade Runner (The Director’s Cut) on DVD for $35, 6 months before my family owned a DVD-player. I would look at the case and read the chapter list, and stare at the artwork in anticipation. When I could finally watch it, I did in awe. I couldn’t fully understand the philosophical questions, but I knew it was something special, and I wished I could see it in theatres.

I just came out of “2049” and my wish came true. Beautiful movie, great music, and a worthy sequel that steps up the idea the first explores.


Miitopia: One of my favourite RPGs EVER!

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I can’t get enough of Miitopia. It’s addicting as hell, adorable, and more in depth than it lets on. It’s probably the most fun RPG I have ever played, and I’ve played a good chunk of them.

A “Mii” is a Nintendo avatar originally made on the Wii, and 3DS systems as a fun mini-game character that you’d fashion as yourself or anyone else. Miitopia takes your Mii characters and casts them as characters of your choosing. The main character, their party members (6 so far that I’ve customized), The Dark Lord, mysterious wizard, a genie, and MORE all get the chance to be modeled to be played by whoever you want them to look like.

I also must mention the townsfolk in this game. It’s been surprise meets hilarity when I see some of these characters and wonder who in the development team chose them. The townsfolk, and other fifth business’ faces look and are blatantly named after such people as Bob Ross, Lamb Chop (from Lamb Chop’s Play-Along, a deep cut in my childhood tv-watching), Bob (the Minion), Batman, Kratos (God Of War), familiar Nintendo characters, and many others! I’m not sure if it’s random or what, but it’s been a delight to see who shows up next.

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One of my waifus, Lara (warrior class) on a break.

I cast my Mii as a “Pop Star”, which in traditional pen/paper RPGs is the “Bard” class. My lady, cast as a “Chef”. And my waifus Jack, Lara, Mercy, Piper, and Chun, cast as “Thief”, “Warrior”, “Sorcerer”, “Cat”, and “Imp” respectively. Each job class has a myriad of abilities appropriate to their name-sake, with a total of 12 jobs (and several personality types to choose) available as the story progresses.

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The world map is classic Super Mario Bros. 3/Mario World style, and you select a level that brings you to stretch of land your characters traverse on their own and certain fun and cute events happen, a treasure chest appears, or (of course) battles. Battles are sort of brain-dead in the sense that you’re merely just watching the battle happen of its own volition, with no intervention EXCEPT when its your main character’s turn. You can choose to attack or cast a spell/ability (depending on your chosen class). The rest of your party acts automatically. Thankfully your teammates aren’t stupid and know when to heal themselves and/or each other when its appropriate.

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The Inn is a mini-game of itself that brings your party’s struggle to life.

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Piper and Mercy bond by gossiping about my main character.

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My main character, and my Mii modeled after my lady make-up after a personal conflict.

Relationships are developed mildly during battle, but are really grown in The Inn after each stage. This is done by placing party members in rooms together, and these are often met with cute cut-scenes of them chatting or doing other things like cleaning, or exchanging gifts. The Inn also allows you to feed your party members with food you’ve collected from battles to boost stats, and each character will learn what their favourite or hated foods are. You can also purchase new weapons and armor if you see that a party member requests it. There’s also two mini-games that are played using game-tickets (found in treasure chests): Rock/Paper/Scissors, and a spin-the-wheel type. The former is a chance to win more gold, while the latter is a random chance at more XP, armor/weapon, MP candy, or tickets to take two party members to a carnival-type cruise that develops their relationship immensely.

Relationships grow on a level system as well. Each level unlocks an ability used during battle such as teaming up for an attack, damage boosting, and helping your character dodge.

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The only problem I’ve had with this game was the obsessive need to go back to each stage to get through each path I didn’t choose initially to complete and get every treasure box.

I have to say that this has been so much fun to play, and will remain in my small 3DS library forever (7 games right now). I highly recommend this to anyone who appreciates a fun Nintendo game, and can deviate from the serious lore-heavy RPG.

Score? Uhh…9/10? Yeah lets do it…

-G

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P.S. Want to add ol’ Radutron to your party? (WARNING: He’s uses swear words after defeating enemies. I made that happen by editing my characters settings. The developers did not code that in!) Here’s my QR code:

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Thought: Empathy

In Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.2, Mantis is a character whose superpower is empathy. We all have that ability in real life.

My barber (whose Iraqi) told me a story of his father who he didn’t talk to for a quite a while suddenly wanted to skype with him. He just told his son that he wanted to see his face, after being asked why. The next day his father died.

I wept in my chair.

We’re all human beings. With social media lets talk WITH each other rather than AT each other. We’re not all so special as we think we are.


Thought: Big Video Game Retail

I’ve seen quite a few of former employee videos about their testament to working in big video game retail. All crappy experiences. I can only imagine what its like to play video games (watch movies, read books, etc.) for a significant amount of time, learn what its like to do the right thing through those mediums, and have to put up with things that irk  moral fiber at your job surrounded by your favourite stories that teach you otherwise.


Thought: Ads

I was on the subway looking up at the ads, and I thought that if or when civilization crumbles I hope that future archeologists don’t confuse these with hieroglyphics.


La Fin Du Monde

The best damn beer with the best damn name…  


Forever Jung

Ever since being done with The Rabid Whole, I’ve had a long way of figuring out who I am, and accepting certain aspects. Sometime last fall I learned of an Ontario-based professor named Jordan B Petersen. I’ve watched countless bite-sized videos of his lectures, and was glad to listen to his (currently) two appearances on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast.

In those podcast episodes Petersen said that he’s heavily influenced by the works of Dr. Carl G. Jung, and philosopher Frederick Nietzche. I decided I had to start reading their works, and I just recently finished reading Jung’s book “Man and His Symbols” (also written by Jung’s associates who dive deeper and expand on Jung’s theology of dreams which are the focus of the book).

“Man and His Symbols” is most definitely one of the most important books I have ever read in my life! I encourage you to read this book and come to your own conclusions (it’s only $11 CAD).

I’m dreadfully sorry if higher intellectuals find this too simplified, or if I misinterpreted anything. Please leave a comment if I’m wrong about any of the following. Here’s the big takeaways:

  1. Our messages from God come in the form of symbols created by our subconscious in the way of dreams.
  2. We are all God, and can be in touch with Him (ourselves, or as Jung calls it the Self) if we learn to listen to our dreams and what they are telling us. Each object, person, and setting are unique to the dreamer.
  3. The rational mind has killed any appreciation and spiritual connection to one’s Self. In a world of materialism, I can’t agree more. It’s literally soul sucking.
  4. Dark imagery in dreams are reflections of the “shadow self”, a version of the subconscious that is trying to tell us something. Something that we can use to better ourselves, if we can just stop running away from it. This is true even if it breeds real criminals!
  5. People who project things onto other people are just reflecting their own issues or beliefs. I never really understood this as much as I do now.

Thinking of symbols I’ve thought about religion, mainly Christianity since that’s a mainstay story in North American culture. I’ve learned years ago that the Bible is nothing but just metaphors, but I never thought about WHAT they were of.

The greatest story ever told is probably the greatest dream ever conceived (the archetype of the hero’s journey). In that case, Jesus’ death and resurrection is a story of letting go of a version of yourself and becoming something new. This is a story everyone can understand and actually live by instead of thinking that Jesus/God is someone or a status they can never be.

Also, hell is probably just a personal one. The TV show “Preacher” does an interesting take on this idea as all prisoners of hell have to relive their worst memories over and over again.

Jung has a quote that says “Unless you make the subconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This is to me is synonymous with “God has a plan”.

If people can unlock their true potential of being, I thought if good and evil really do exist or if its just a point of view. From what I gather I’ll get a better idea once I start reading Nietzche…

Even typing this now I think of some of the imagery I’ve seen while floating in a sensory deprivation tank, and the symbol I designed and got tattooed on my arm! Things I’ll need to ponder for sure. Hell, even that Guardians Of The Galaxy dream I had a couple of months ago. Are dreams our own verses and stories for our own personal bible? Man, oh man!

Anyways, I’m really interested in this kind of reverse engineering of myself, and after reading this book I feel like a real living being. My next sought after Jung book is “Jung and The Active Imagination” where Jung found himself depressed in a certain part of his life and looked to his childhood to find what it was that he was missing.

I really feel like I’m shedding a version of myself recently, and growing into something new. I realize my abilities for empathy and understanding, and it really rips the fear out of anything that I have. It’s also been fertilizer for ideas I have creatively that I just can’t wait to share with the world.

Dear reader, I urge you find the new religion. The religion of you.

-G


Video

Rockin’ to “Lara”

Wanna see me playing guitar? SURE YOU DO!

Rockin’ to my track “Lara” (inspired by Lara Croft from Tomb Raider), with my sweet Kassandra.

Listen to track on Soundcloud, and Bandcamp.


WAIFU OUT NOW!

My love letters in musical form to some of my favourite female characters in video games is now completed, and available to stream, or to purchase to download! I’m so very excited and I’m happy to share it with the world.


A weird and great dream with The Guardians Of The Galaxy

No jokes. I just had this dream and had to write this down at 5:30am!

The line between the Guardians characters and the cast was blurred. The lines between me being a fan, a cast member, and the character I was playing was blurred.
I went to the theater to watch the 2nd to 3rd act of the movie and it was pretty x-rated in the most comical way possible. I won’t go into details.

Anyway, next thing I know the cast are all jumping into an appointment they have for a photo shoot in the most epic way possible together. I’m a cast member (whoever I’m playing as) and I jump and glide along side Michael Rooker on a motorcycle who is on my right, and he turns and smiles with the friendliest *yeah, let’s go!* smile you can think up.

We’re all in a desert when this is happening and end up in the driveway of some Hollywood house for the photo shoot which is taking place on the roof of the garage (the edge of the garage and our backs facing the yard).

We all end up in poses like we’re playing Twister. Dave Bautista ends up with his butt in my face. I say: “Well, at least it’s not anything else…”. Everyone laughs. Particularly, Nebula (Karen Gillan is the only one in full make-up).

Next thing we know we get abducted and sent to some weird alien reality show where the premise is we are in cages and the galaxy (?) watches us slowly go crazy because rescue is near impossible. Nebula and I are looking at each other very worried and in tears.

She tells me she has a plan to get out, and not to worry anymore. The rest of the dream is me trying to escape with everyone (checking exits, talking with fellow Guardians/prisoners) as I check in with Nebula, whose plan was to slowly turn into a weeabo (an anime fan), and make vlogs. She has gone insane, and I’m as devastated as anyone with a messiah complex can be.

“Poor Nebb…What have they done?”

I wake up.


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WAIFU Promo Photo

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Soon.

Check out: http://www.radutron.com/music

Photo by: Melissa Jim


Journal Entry from Band Days Past

I was going through my notes on my iPhone and found the only journal entry I made at the start of our 5-week tour through Canada/U.S.. I thought it interesting. Enjoy.

“April 12, 2013

“If you want an illustrious career in rock n’ roll, I suggest you think about it…” Greg Dean (on the KMFDM Beat By Beat Tour 1995).

I just want to say about that quote above: Our trip is most likely not as crazy as some bands’, but touring in a band is not like a road trip with your friends or family, and it’s not really like camping except for some things you bring with you. We don’t have a crew, and playing is merely 10% of our job. The rest is lugging/hooking up our gear, driving long hours (and battling the elements), being paranoid about security, taking extra care in maintaining our health, and eating not as wholesome as we’d like.

Day 1 of the Short Circuit Tour (excluding the Toronto show, cause we didn’t actually leave until the following Thursday).. 

Drive was alright. Chals got one of those fancy “GoPro” cameras to document our journey. I swear they use those in the Canada’s Worst Driver tv-show.

Anyways, the 8-hr drive seemed short. The quaint size of Sault Ste. Marie reminded me of certain areas of Regina, and Moose Jaw, SK. It’s bigger than I thought, since the last time we travelled through (at night) back in late-fall 2009.

We get to the venue ’round 5:45pm and eventually meet the promoter. Nice guy. Fed us, bought us drinks. As the night rolls along after soundcheck and we’re playing the “hurry up and wait” game, I’m starting to get super tired. I’ve been up since 4:30am and by 11pm I was ready to crash. I was given an energy drink and after finally playing I gained a second wind.

A nice couple invited us to their house to sleep and shower. I had especially taken advantage of the shower.

Unfortunately the crazy snow storm from southern Ontario had caught up with us, and the next morning had us a little weary. On our way out of the city, a snowy steep hill stopping us from progressing as we halted half way up, and causing us to “jack-knife” the trailer trying to back up DOWN the hill. Chals warned on-coming traffic, as us dudes pushed the fully packed heavy trailer SIDEWAYS to get straight, disconnect from the van, then swing around to aim down the hill, then painstakingly re-attach to the van without getting run over by our own trailer.

After finding an alternate route, we hit up Timmy’s and fill up on gas. Then it’s continuing on the seemingly perilous mid-April winter journey to Thunder Bay.

I hope there’s enough lightning in Thunder Bay to zap this snow into hell.”


“WAIFU” Update

I’m currently getting through writing the track “Piper” as I record it. It’s challenging my guitar playing in a way I never thought possible, and I’m not one to edit the crap out of my guitar lines like most pros do (literally cutting every note and align it with the rhythm). I just can’t be that obsessive with something like that. I’ve listened to too much classic rock lately that I’m much more comfortable with sticking with the best take. I either play it well or I delete it. There’s something more human about it to me, and I don’t have to answer to anyone about it. But, I must say I’m very happy with the direction the track is going (think rockabilly-punk-kinda).

There’s a quote that Walt Disney said, something like “Everyone needs deadlines”. It really puts the pressure on to complete any project. But I’m quite certain I’ll complete this one. I know this is all talk, but if the first two tracks are any indication of how good this record is gonna be…

I really feel like this music is really the start of something for me. A real way to project my imagination.

I’m very excited to get this finished and start my next record idea I got kicking around in my head.

-G